How fat is your uncle?

[RedsoxRockies]

Clay says in the welcome to ejections sticky that we can talk about how fat your mom is, so how about uncle? Mine are not fat at all. I just wanted to get the demographic, as this is important information that could save lives.

[Arctic Blast]

Hmmm...I can't think of a single fat uncle that I have. They're all pretty much what you'd call 'average'.

[OldFatGuy]

Hope my nephew doesn't post here.

[RedsoxRockies]

lol

[HoustonGM]

I have some fat uncles and some not fat uncles.

[BINGLEBOP]

I love how you put "ITS A WHALE" (minus the apostrophe), in case some posters happen to have female uncles.

[boomboom]

I have 3 uncles,

2 are dead at a young age, and one is about 250 ;)

One of the ones that died, was in a burger king parking lot, was drunk, the sidewalk was icey, he took one step on the curb, then fell back and broke is neck. He was dead instantly. He was about 300 pounds.

[RedsoxRockies]

[QUOTE=BINGLEBOP;1068546]I love how you put "ITS A WHALE" (minus the apostrophe), in case some posters happen to have female uncles.[/QUExcactly what I was thinking lol, you never know if anyone has female uncles nowadays

[RedsoxRockies]

I know right

[beerchaser]

Speaking as one who just went to visit his niece and nephew yesterday and today, I vote for "God's gift to women". 6'2" and 195 pounds of love machine.

BTW, my nephew is becoming a pretty good baseball player.

[RedsoxRockies]

nobody has voted skinny, so I wonder if the rate of overweight uncles is increasing.. OMG WE HAVE A NATIONAL CRISIS

[OldFatGuy]

Speaking as one who just went to visit his niece and nephew yesterday and today, I vote for "God's gift to women". 6'2" and 195 pounds of love machine.

BTW, my nephew is becoming a pretty good baseball player.

Haha, yeah, I'm betting that's just how your niece and nephew would've voted. Mine??? MMMMMM, if 6'2 at 195 pounds is a love machine, whadya call 5'10 at 315 pounds?????........ Answer: OldFatGuy


Reminds of the time I met a woman at a bar at the Dulles airport Holiday Inn. I was feeling particularly frisky, and she was waaaaaaaaaaay out of my league, so I said to myself, "what the ****, go for it". So, I began buying her drinks and asking her if she would like to see what it would be like to be in bed with 300 pounds of dynamite. At first she gave me the usual cold shoulder, but either the 63 drinks I bought her clouded her judgement or she became truly curious (I don't know and don't care which), she finally agreed to get a room right there at the Dulles Holiday Inn with me and find out first hand what 300 pounds of dynamite was like in bed.

Soooooooo, we get in the room, she lays on the bed, I'm going into the bathroom and tell her "Just wait baby, when I get out of here, you'll see what 300 pounds of dynamite is like."

So, I go into the bathroom, completely undress, walk back out into the room, and she takes one look at me, jumps up, runs out of the room SCREAMING AT THE TOP OF HER LUNGS. This at 2:30 AM in the morning. The manager on duty at the time finally catches her in the lobby, grabs her and says "Settle down, lady, please settle down. It's 2:30 in the morning, what in the world IS SO WRONG?"

And she says, "Quick, you've got to evacaute the hotel. In room 212, there's 300 pounds of dynamite with only a two inch fuse. RUN FOR YOUR LIFE."""

[Coach Owens]

Haha, yeah, I'm betting that's just how your niece and nephew would've voted. Mine??? MMMMMM, if 6'2 at 195 pounds is a love machine, whadya call 5'10 at 315 pounds?????........ Answer: OldFatGuy


Reminds of the time I met a woman at a bar at the Dulles airport Holiday Inn. I was feeling particularly frisky, and she was waaaaaaaaaaay out of my league, so I said to myself, "what the ****, go for it". So, I began buying her drinks and asking her if she would like to see what it would be like to be in bed with 300 pounds of dynamite. At first she gave me the usual cold shoulder, but either the 63 drinks I bought her clouded her judgement or she became truly curious (I don't know and don't care which), she finally agreed to get a room right there at the Dulles Holiday Inn with me and find out first hand what 300 pounds of dynamite was like in bed.

Soooooooo, we get in the room, she lays on the bed, I'm going into the bathroom and tell her "Just wait baby, when I get out of here, you'll see what 300 pounds of dynamite is like."

So, I go into the bathroom, completely undress, walk back out into the room, and she takes one look at me, jumps up, runs out of the room SCREAMING AT THE TOP OF HER LUNGS. This at 2:30 AM in the morning. The manager on duty at the time finally catches her in the lobby, grabs her and says "Settle down, lady, please settle down. It's 2:30 in the morning, what in the world IS SO WRONG?"

And she says, "Quick, you've got to evacaute the hotel. In room 212, there's 300 pounds of dynamite with only a two inch fuse. RUN FOR YOUR LIFE."""

Lol. :p

[BINGLEBOP]

Hilarious!

[RedsoxRockies]

Haha, yeah, I'm betting that's just how your niece and nephew would've voted. Mine??? MMMMMM, if 6'2 at 195 pounds is a love machine, whadya call 5'10 at 315 pounds?????........ Answer: OldFatGuy


Reminds of the time I met a woman at a bar at the Dulles airport Holiday Inn. I was feeling particularly frisky, and she was waaaaaaaaaaay out of my league, so I said to myself, "what the ****, go for it". So, I began buying her drinks and asking her if she would like to see what it would be like to be in bed with 300 pounds of dynamite. At first she gave me the usual cold shoulder, but either the 63 drinks I bought her clouded her judgement or she became truly curious (I don't know and don't care which), she finally agreed to get a room right there at the Dulles Holiday Inn with me and find out first hand what 300 pounds of dynamite was like in bed.

Soooooooo, we get in the room, she lays on the bed, I'm going into the bathroom and tell her "Just wait baby, when I get out of here, you'll see what 300 pounds of dynamite is like."

So, I go into the bathroom, completely undress, walk back out into the room, and she takes one look at me, jumps up, runs out of the room SCREAMING AT THE TOP OF HER LUNGS. This at 2:30 AM in the morning. The manager on duty at the time finally catches her in the lobby, grabs her and says "Settle down, lady, please settle down. It's 2:30 in the morning, what in the world IS SO WRONG?"

And she says, "Quick, you've got to evacaute the hotel. In room 212, there's 300 pounds of dynamite with only a two inch fuse. RUN FOR YOUR LIFE."""


You should feel proud to know how intimidating you are lol. Did this really happen?

[TheNamelessPoet]

omg i nearly peed my pants

[gosensgo101]

omg i nearly peed my pantsI did. :o

[Coach Owens]

I did. :o

I, um, released the other kind of human waste in my pants! :D :p