Here is the thread in which we make fun of Twilight

[Kobie]

Twilight has absolutely zero redeeming qualities. It's complete trash, and if you like it, you have no taste. The books are horribly written excrement designed to appeal to sixth-grade girls. If you are not a sixth-grade girl, and you like Twilight, seek help, because something is wrong with you.

So let's all make fun of Twilight here.

[ragecage]

I'd have more fun if I took a whole box of laxatives and sit on the toilet for two hours than having to sit through twilight.

[Josh123123123]

Twilight has absolutely zero redeeming qualities. It's complete trash, and if you like it, you have no taste. The books are horribly written excrement designed to appeal to sixth-grade girls. If you are not a sixth-grade girl, and you like Twilight, seek help, because something is wrong with you.

So let's all make fun of Twilight here.

Jacob eats dick for breakfast, lunch, and dinner.

next >>>>>>>>>>>

[President]

Twilight is the greatest **** ever. It's a better book than To Kill a Mockingbird. It's a better movie than the Godfather. Stephanie Meyer is a better writer than Charles Dickens. Characters such as Jacob and Edward are better developed than characters such as George and Lennie.

And vampires are better than all of you. Werewolves too.

[etothep]

I will say this, that chick would get the dick

[Kobie]

Is it me, or does every single picture of Kristen Stewart look like she just gobbled a handful of vicodin. She has no facial expressions. She just looks completely dead behind the eyes.

[actionjackson]

"Vampires" that look utterly addicted to heroin are not scary...They are sad.

[ragecage]

I don't even know what she looks like to be honest. I shy away from anything twilight to prevent me from having some sort of stroke.

I feel the same about Lady Gaga.

[actionjackson]

I don't even know what she looks like to be honest. I shy away from anything twilight to prevent me from having some sort of stroke.

I feel the same about Lady Gaga.

...And about 90% of what passes for "entertainment" these days.

[Kobie]

I don't even know what she looks like to be honest.

She's not a bad-looking girl, except for the fact that she resembles a corpse.

[President]

Ashley Greene is the hottest Twilight girl

http://images.starpulse.com/pictures/2008/11/16/previews/Ashley%20Greene-PRN-030555.jpg

[Kobie]

awesome sideboob, el presidente

[President]

awesome sideboob, el presidente

She has a couple of NSFW ones which I did not see because I'm not 18

[free2131]

http://www.x929.ca/shows/newsboy/wp-content/uploads/twilight-blade-twilight-series-7218972-400-267.jpg

[eggson27]

Ew.

[ragecage]

Is it me, or does every single picture of Kristen Stewart look like she just gobbled a handful of vicodin. She has no facial expressions. She just looks completely dead behind the eyes.

Also if I want someone like that, I'll go with Mischa Barton. At least she prolly knows how to have a good time.

[free2131]

She has a couple of NSFW ones which I did not see because I'm not 18

Looked those up. Very nice.

[ragecage]

Looked those up. Very nice.

You're not 18, how did you bypass it?

[President]

You're not 18, how did you bypass it?

He clearly did a bad thing for a pre-18 year old

[ragecage]

Indeed he did.

[Kobie]

I'm calling the FBI

[YEAH DAAAAWG]

This is the best thread in the history of this forum. Especially the Blade - Robert Pattinson picture.

<Twilight rant>

Kristen Stewart is the worst actress in the history of film. She just has the same expressionless face at all times. I remember a while back a friend showed me this slideshow/video where it went through a bunch of her pictures and her expression was that same stupid blank stare in every single one. Robert Pattinson completely defiled his credibility as an actor by taking the role of Edward, which is too bad because I liked him in Harry Potter. All he did was make himself a sex idol amongst millions of girls who've barely hit puberty. The werewolf guy is a homo. The books are horribly written. The movies have horrible acting/production. I've never seen such fanfare over such a poor book/movie franchise.

</Twilight rant>

[free2131]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QpT8l94CKcs

[President]

This is the best thread in the history of this forum. Especially the Blade - Robert Pattinson picture.

<Twilight rant>

Kristen Stewart is the worst actress in the history of film. She just has the same expressionless face at all times. I remember a while back a friend showed me this slideshow/video where it went through a bunch of her pictures and her expression was that same stupid blank stare in every single one. Robert Pattinson completely defiled his credibility as an actor by taking the role of Edward, which is too bad because I liked him in Harry Potter. All he did was make himself a sex idol amongst millions of girls who've barely hit puberty. The werewolf guy is a homo. The books are horribly written. The movies have horrible acting/production. I've never seen such fanfare over such a poor book/movie franchise.

</Twilight rant>

Stop being wrong.

[Alloutwar]

Is President a 13 year old girl?

Why else would he defend this monstrousity of a soulless teen profit campaign?

Please tell me he's kidding around.

[President]

Is President a 13 year old girl?

Why else would he defend this monstrousity of a soulless teen profit campaign?

Please tell me he's kidding around.

Ashley Greene is hot.

[Alloutwar]

Okay, even if you think so - so what?

That doesn't magically give Twilight a worthwhile plot, or give Kristen Stewart acting skills. Hot chicks are in pile of trash movies all the time. Transformers 2, anyone?

[President]

Okay, even if you think so - so what?

That doesn't magically give Twilight a worthwhile plot, or give Kristen Stewart acting skills. Hot chicks are in pile of trash movies all the time. Transformers 2, anyone?

If Twilight was a baseball player, it would be Brian Fuentes, because it is that good.

[OregonDuck1989]

She has a couple of NSFW ones which I did not see because I'm not 18

Suuuuure.

I've seen them, silly girl took them for her boyfriend.

[TheNamelessPoet]

Id say any story about vampires that says they cant go outside in light because the "shimmer" is the gaiest shlt I have ever heard... and I dont mean that happy gay ****... I mean gay as in penis in mans butt gay

[Kobie]

If Twilight was a baseball player, it would be Brian Fuentes, because it is that good.

Twilight is to literature and cinema what John Denver was to aviation.

[gRYFYN1]

this,

[OregonDuck1989]

Id say any story about vampires that says they cant go outside in light because the "shimmer" is the gaiest shlt I have ever heard... and I dont mean that happy gay ****... I mean gay as in penis in mans butt gay

Gay as in what you do with rage.

[TheNamelessPoet]

Gay as in what you do with rage.

hey!!! (http://forum.sportsmogul.com/showthread.php?goto=newpost&t=203402)

[ragecage]

:c

[FloydtheBarber]

I think everyone on here except for Bingle (who has confessed to enjoying the movies) would agree in the overall wretchedness of Twilight.

[President]

I love Twilight






(as much as I like Fuentes)

For the record, Ashley Greene is still really hot

[actionjackson]

In order to understand the greatness that is "Twilight", you must first understand the greatness that is Bill Bergen, Doug Flynn, and for all you Philly Phanatics: Juan Castro.

[free2131]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DBMc4uSr5KE&feature=related

[actionjackson]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DBMc4uSr5KE&feature=related

Please don't do that again. I can't control my impulse to click on the link and when I do I fear my brain will turn to mush and ooze out of my ears.

[Kobie]

In order to understand the greatness that is "Twilight", you must first understand the greatness that is Bill Bergen, Doug Flynn, and for all you Philly Phanatics: Juan Castro.

Steve Jeltz, son

[actionjackson]

Steve Jeltz, son

Slightly off-topic and possibly belonging to another section of the forum:

Career WAR:

Bill Bergen -17.6
Doug Flynn -12.1
Juan Castro -10.2 (and plunging)
Steve Jeltz -1.4

Probably none of them deserved a major league job, and barring that 2000+ PA (Flynn had 4000+, Bergen 3000+, while Castro is approaching 3000+ - Phillies bailed on Jeltz relatively quickly as he "only" got 2000+). As you can see Jeltz is a freakin' superstar compared with these slugs.

Now back to the thread. Twilight is as awesome as the Larry Andersen for Jeff Bagwell trade was for Red Sox fans. :eek:

[Arctic Blast]

Please don't do that again. I can't control my impulse to click on the link and when I do I fear my brain will turn to mush and ooze out of my ears.

RiffTrax is good for you. :)

[BenFink]

For pity's sake, direct-to-video cheerleading competition films have more genuine intrigue than this.

Can't wait to watch both!

[Kobie]

Slightly off-topic and possibly belonging to another section of the forum:

Career WAR:

Bill Bergen -17.6
Doug Flynn -12.1
Juan Castro -10.2 (and plunging)
Steve Jeltz -1.4

Probably none of them deserved a major league job, and barring that 2000+ PA (Flynn had 4000+, Bergen 3000+, while Castro is approaching 3000+ - Phillies bailed on Jeltz relatively quickly as he "only" got 2000+). As you can see Jeltz is a freakin' superstar compared with these slugs.

Now back to the thread. Twilight is as awesome as the Larry Andersen for Jeff Bagwell trade was for Red Sox fans. :eek:

Well alrighty then.

Speaking of WAR, I found this to be rather interesting:

http://www.beyondtheboxscore.com/2010/6/13/1515527/below-average-in-every-component

I'm trying to find who has the worst career WAR in MLB history but I can't find it. I'm sure one of you other seamheads can help.

Twlight is to literature and cinema what Lindsay Lohan is to sobriety.

[actionjackson]

Well alrighty then.

Speaking of WAR, I found this to be rather interesting:

http://www.beyondtheboxscore.com/2010/6/13/1515527/below-average-in-every-component

I'm trying to find who has the worst career WAR in MLB history but I can't find it. I'm sure one of you other seamheads can help.

Twlight is to literature and cinema what Lindsay Lohan is to sobriety.

Bergen, Flynn and Castro are all in the "top" 5 or 6 with Bergen being the absolute worst I believe, but it is hard to be absolutely sure.

Twilight is to literature and cinema what the Phoenix Coyotes are to achieving financial stability.

[gosensgo101]

How the hell did this turn into a discussion about WAR?

[Kobie]

Bergen, Flynn and Castro are all in the "top" 5 or 6 with Bergen being the absolute worst I believe, but it is hard to be absolutely sure.

Twilight is to literature and cinema what the Phoenix Coyotes are to achieving financial stability.

Candice Bergen could have done better. Ba-dum-ching.

Twilight is to literature and cinema what Joe Morgan is to reasonable baseball analysis.

[President]

How the hell did this turn into a discussion about WAR?

With my awesome comparison that Twilight was as amazing as the best closer in the game, Brian Fuentes

[actionjackson]

How the hell did this turn into a discussion about WAR?

Sometimes it just slips in there ya know?

Twilight is to literature and cinema as Justin Bieber and Lady Gaga are to music.

[Kobie]

Twilight is to literature and cinema what Josh is to BM forum posters.

[President]

Twilight is to literature and cinema what Josh is to BM forum posters.

Twilight: Literature: Josh/CalRipken12: Posting

[Kobie]

Twilight is to literature and cinema what Skip Bayless is to ESPN.

[free2131]

Please don't do that again. I can't control my impulse to click on the link and when I do I fear my brain will turn to mush and ooze out of my ears.

Listen to the whole thing. If you remember the TV show Mystery Science Theater 3000, the guys from that show make fun of it the whole time. They have a website called Rifftrax.com and they basically make fun of newer movies now. Pretty funny.

[Kobie]

Listen to the whole thing. If you remember the TV show Mystery Science Theater 3000, the guys from that show make fun of it the whole time. They have a website called Rifftrax.com and they basically make fun of newer movies now. Pretty funny.

They've done some stuff on the Star Wars prequels that is absolutely side-splitting.

[Arctic Blast]

The Rifftrax of 300 is probably the funniest of the 30 or so that I've seen. Hilarious.

[CCamels73]

make fun of it all you want.... but an Eclipse date night with the wifey, yeah.......

Lets just say, we are still glowing.....

[ragecage]

make fun of it all you want.... but an Eclipse date night with the wifey, yeah.......

Lets just say, we are still glowing.....

Next you're gonna try to tell me a yorkie is a manly dog.

[oriole^]

Next you're gonna try to tell me a yorkie is a manly dog.

Ermmm...I'm breaking my silence-of-late here to say that I think what happened as far as that date was that thanks to the socially safe girlporn in the movie, the brother Got Some.

Granted, it's the wife, which shouldn't count; but then, many of us are hitched and well aware of how often we do the same. And it is with that knowledge I say: Well done, sir. Well done. ;)

I'm not alone in this assessment of Twilight, btw. Kevin Smith thinks the same way as I do. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VaTq95CYqCw)

[actionjackson]

Ermmm...I'm breaking my silence-of-late here to say that I think what happened as far as that date was that thanks to the socially safe girlporn in the movie, the brother Got Some.

Granted, it's the wife, which shouldn't count; but then, many of us are hitched and well aware of how often we do the same. And it is with that knowledge I say: Well done, sir. Well done. ;)

I'm not alone in this assessment of Twilight, btw. Kevin Smith thinks the same way as I do. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VaTq95CYqCw)

That clip is awesome, but this (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uA2hNn00t-0&feature=related) clip of him dealing with a heckler is ****ing hilarious. Note: Never, ever heckle Kevin Smith. He will pwn you. Usual warnings for those that don't like swearing and stuff.