Top Ten Ways the U.S. Would Be Different If the Next President Were a Dog

[michaelg123789]

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[michaelg123789]

9. Washington Monument replaced with hundred-story fire hydrant

[michaelg123789]

8. Public enemy #1: That neutering ******* Bob Barker

[michaelg123789]

7. At press conferences, instead of "Mr. President," reporters would shout, "Here fella!"

[michaelg123789]

6. U.S. might have more coherent foreign policy

[michaelg123789]

5. Doggy door on oval office

[michaelg123789]

4. Secret service and CIA dispatched to catch that little chuck wagon

[michaelg123789]

3. One word: Sausage-gate.

[michaelg123789]

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[michaelg123789]

1. Country really run by dog's smarter poodle wife

[nysteinbrenner]

We had a dog as President. He was impeached in 1998.

[asianinvasion]

Do you think that a dog would be a better president than Bush?

[robinhoodnik]

Do you think that a dog would be a better president than Bush?

Yes, and also better than any of the current candidates for 2008 as well.

[metsguy234]

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So The 2nd way the U.S. would be different if the president were a dog is the Dodgers logo?

[CatKnight]

Dog? The US would be better off if our president was a fifty ton whale that spouted at people.

Oh wait, that's our VICE president...

[LLP]

Yes, and also better than any of the current candidates for 2008 as well.

Other than Dennis Kucinich and Ron Paul, you're probably right. A dog would certainly not turn America into a theocracy like Mike Huckabee wants to (Huckabee is actually a Neo-"Progressive", which means that he advocates high taxes, a Crusade for Democracy, and Prohibitionism, like Woodrow Wilson) or a police state as Rudy Giuliani intends to (and his record in NYC shows).

Of course, a dog would be a much better president than most of the ones we've had (well, Coolidge, Harding, Cleveland, Andrew Johnson, Pierce, Van Buren, Jackson, and Jefferson were actually good presidents, but the rest were either mixed or awful).

[metsguy234]

Other than Dennis Kucinich and Ron Paul, you're probably right. A dog would certainly not turn America into a theocracy like Mike Huckabee wants to (Huckabee is actually a Neo-"Progressive", which means that he advocates high taxes, a Crusade for Democracy, and Prohibitionism, like Woodrow Wilson) or a police state as Rudy Giuliani intends to (and his record in NYC shows).

Of course, a dog would be a much better president than most of the ones we've had (well, Coolidge, Harding, Cleveland, Andrew Johnson, Pierce, Van Buren, Jackson, and Jefferson were actually good presidents, but the rest were either mixed or awful).

Wasn't Andrew Jackson a racist?

What about Washington and Lincoln and JFK and FDR?

[robinhoodnik]

Wasn't Andrew Jackson a racist?

No, I believe the modern term is genocidal maniac.

[Coach Owens]

Dog? The US would be better off if our president was a fifty ton whale that spouted at people.

Oh wait, that's our VICE president...

Replace "spouting" with "shooting in the face with a hunting rifle".

[Alloutwar]

Guys, I live with dogs now..and after being driven insane by them for two months, I can't believe they would really be effective leaders of the executive branch.

For some Dog Haikus I composed while learning to live with the disgusting creatures:
Dog Haikus (http://www.emptyorchard.com/Haikus.htm) (warning - swears and such)

However - after seeing our current president/vice president in action, and especially GW's speaking skills, I would have to say that
1) a dog, while not actually being able to speak, would at least not make as many public speaking blunders (http://politicalhumor.about.com/library/blbushisms.htm)
2) a dog, especially if 'cute', would not engender so much hatred/resentment at home or abroad
3) a dog may actually learn something new, or change its behavior over time
4) dogs typically don't shoot people, use underhanded political scheming, or take as much vacation
5) dogs have no vested interest in Arab nations and their continued profit; for instance, my dogs father is not part of the Carlyle Group (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Carlyle_Group)

So, despite my complete dislike of all things 'dog', if given the option to install one as the president today, I think I am sold.

[robinhoodnik]

We'd still have to elect him. But then we'd also have to find a qualified cat to run against him, so that we could maintain our two party system. What if the dog had a history of violence against cats? That could be bad for the dog's chances. Then there's the problem of the cat. He'd never be able to win the bird vote.
Now could we really trust a dog to not embarrass us in front of the international community? What if some Polaroids surfaced of dog "groping" a pant leg? Then there's the issues of bum sniffing and feces eating. While many human politicians are accused of spouting feces, none that I know of have been accused of dining upon it. Then again dog may have the upper hand with the sniffing bums issue since most politicians judiciously kiss them.
What are we to do?!?