***OFFICIAL What are you thinking about right now? *** V3.1

[haveacigar]

Free I hope that marriage ended a good time ago.

[free2131]

Free I hope that marriage ended a good time ago.

Honestly I have no clue. The last time I saw her profile it said she was married and now it doesn't. See, I have no wanting to get in a relationship with her at all, but she's someone I'm comfortable with. Didn't end badly either (obviously).

[haveacigar]

I'm just saying, it can be a dbag move if you're like "oh **** you just got divorced yesterday lets bone"

[Alloutwar]

Don't worry - it's actually not her real facebook account, just a fake account OD made a few months ago. Free is in for a surprise!

[free2131]

I'm just saying, it can be a dbag move if you're like "oh **** you just got divorced yesterday lets bone"

I could see that if I were pretending to want a relationship with her, but as long as I make my intentions perfectly clear (no relationship, just sex), I don't really see how I would be a d-bag.

[free2131]

Don't worry - it's actually not her real facebook account, just a fake account OD made a few months ago. Free is in for a surprise!

Funny thing, she is actually 8 years older than I am and probably the best I've had, so you are on to something with the whole older women thing.

[Alloutwar]

Of course I'm onto something. If you don't treat every post I make as a turd of wisdom, you have only yourself to blame.

FWIW I would say banging a chick shortly after divorce is a dbag move, regardless of emotional attachment. Psychologically people need ~1 month, per year of the previous relationship, to get their self esteem and feelings back in balance. So if it was a 6 year relationship, they shouldn't be banging anyone for 4-7 months depending on their psychological health and makeup. If you think about it, that's the best way, isn't it? You can't really rebuild self esteem and figure out who you are as a person if you're just swapping out partners or filling a sexual need. There are reasons that sadness and loneliness exist - its not something to be batted away, but dealt with on the path to recovery.

Everyone presents themselves as fine (I was totally over him, it was over months before, etc). Its all BS. Those wounds stay open for a long time, even beyond the above ranges, for all but the most sociopathic individuals.

The main problem is transference - theres a huge gaping hole in someone's life when they lose their partner. If they engage with a new person, even with some perfunctory 'its not serious' approach, those emotions are transferred. My ex of 5+ years started bangingsome loser with 5 kids right after our breakup, but she made sure to tell everyone 'it wasn't serious' and she 'would never marry someone like that'. Two years later they were married. She never got herself independent or healthy, and it's made her a weaker person to this day.

If you engage in this type of behavior there are a few negatives:
- emotional transferrence, in this case to you, where despite her attempts at walling off boundaries she develops feelings
- you are taking advantage of someone in a weakened emotional state
- even if things stay in a 'FWB' role, she will possibly resent you later for taking advantage of her in that situation or interrupting her recovery
- think of the children! What type of example does this set for the MetsGuys and Ewings of the forum?

Or maybe its been months, or maybe she's got some kind of psychological makeup that makes all this a non-issue. I dunno man, just want you to take things into account and not think with the little Jeffy.

[haveacigar]

Of course I'm onto something. If you don't treat every post I make as a turd of wisdom, you have only yourself to blame.

FWIW I would say banging a chick shortly after divorce is a dbag move, regardless of emotional attachment. Psychologically people need ~1 month, per year of the previous relationship, to get their self esteem and feelings back in balance. So if it was a 6 year relationship, they shouldn't be banging anyone for 4-7 months depending on their psychological health and makeup. If you think about it, that's the best way, isn't it? You can't really rebuild self esteem and figure out who you are as a person if you're just swapping out partners or filling a sexual need. There are reasons that sadness and loneliness exist - its not something to be batted away, but dealt with on the path to recovery.

Everyone presents themselves as fine (I was totally over him, it was over months before, etc). Its all BS. Those wounds stay open for a long time, even beyond the above ranges, for all but the most sociopathic individuals.

The main problem is transference - theres a huge gaping hole in someone's life when they lose their partner. If they engage with a new person, even with some perfunctory 'its not serious' approach, those emotions are transferred. My ex of 5+ years started bangingsome loser with 5 kids right after our breakup, but she made sure to tell everyone 'it wasn't serious' and she 'would never marry someone like that'. Two years later they were married. She never got herself independent or healthy, and it's made her a weaker person to this day.

If you engage in this type of behavior there are a few negatives:
- emotional transferrence, in this case to you, where despite her attempts at walling off boundaries she develops feelings
- you are taking advantage of someone in a weakened emotional state
- even if things stay in a 'FWB' role, she will possibly resent you later for taking advantage of her in that situation or interrupting her recovery
- think of the children! What type of example does this set for the MetsGuys and Ewings of the forum?

Or maybe its been months, or maybe she's got some kind of psychological makeup that makes all this a non-issue. I dunno man, just want you to take things into account and not think with the little Jeffy.

Yeah, this.

[free2131]

Of course I'm onto something. If you don't treat every post I make as a turd of wisdom, you have only yourself to blame.

FWIW I would say banging a chick shortly after divorce is a dbag move, regardless of emotional attachment. Psychologically people need ~1 month, per year of the previous relationship, to get their self esteem and feelings back in balance. So if it was a 6 year relationship, they shouldn't be banging anyone for 4-7 months depending on their psychological health and makeup. If you think about it, that's the best way, isn't it? You can't really rebuild self esteem and figure out who you are as a person if you're just swapping out partners or filling a sexual need. There are reasons that sadness and loneliness exist - its not something to be batted away, but dealt with on the path to recovery.

Everyone presents themselves as fine (I was totally over him, it was over months before, etc). Its all BS. Those wounds stay open for a long time, even beyond the above ranges, for all but the most sociopathic individuals.

The main problem is transference - theres a huge gaping hole in someone's life when they lose their partner. If they engage with a new person, even with some perfunctory 'its not serious' approach, those emotions are transferred. My ex of 5+ years started bangingsome loser with 5 kids right after our breakup, but she made sure to tell everyone 'it wasn't serious' and she 'would never marry someone like that'. Two years later they were married. She never got herself independent or healthy, and it's made her a weaker person to this day.

If you engage in this type of behavior there are a few negatives:
- emotional transferrence, in this case to you, where despite her attempts at walling off boundaries she develops feelings
- you are taking advantage of someone in a weakened emotional state
- even if things stay in a 'FWB' role, she will possibly resent you later for taking advantage of her in that situation or interrupting her recovery
- think of the children! What type of example does this set for the MetsGuys and Ewings of the forum?

Or maybe its been months, or maybe she's got some kind of psychological makeup that makes all this a non-issue. I dunno man, just want you to take things into account and not think with the little Jeffy.

From happy to be getting some to worrying about scarring someone psychologically in one post. Damn it.

[Alloutwar]

the power of words! Just find out if she's a sociopath - if so, bang the living daylights out of her!

[OregonDuck1989]

Just **** her already.

[HoustonGM]

Almost at 45,000 posts

[OregonDuck1989]

Almost at 45,000 posts

Irrelevant until free bones crazy divorcee

[ragecage]

Just **** her already.

This. Seriously.

Unless of course she just got divorced yesterday. Then wait a week.

[free2131]

This. Seriously.

Unless of course she just got divorced yesterday. Then wait a week.

Yeah but then what if I do end up really messing her up or something? Sometimes I really wish I could be an ******* and not give a **** about stuff like that.