The Lesser Jeff

[free2131]

Just thought some of you would like to follow along on my weight loss journey. I consider a lot of you friends, so maybe you could stop by and offer words of encouragement or kick my ass and make sure I'm still on my way. I put up a sorta sad story that may have started my path to using food as a way to try and hide the sadness and make me feel better. That post and one I made today are the only ones I've made so far, but I plan on keeping it updated.

Just a little back story. As most of you know, I've been severely depressed for much of my life and tried to do some stupid things. One thing I've done my whole life is overeat. Now in high school I stayed around 250-300Lbs, which while still fat, is nowhere near where I let myself get. I have been depressed, which has caused me to overeat, but I never should have let it get as bad as what I did. I went to a weight specialist about a month ago because I was ready to lose weight and make myself healthier. I got on the scale to start with... I weighed 408 lbs. I wanted to die right there. I remember a time when I promised myself I'd never let myself get to 300. I think that I was motivated to work at it anyway, but seeing that number made me want it that much more.

I've currently been on a high protein/ low carb diet and have been working on a weight machine and treadmill I have at home. I now weigh 367 lbs. I was shocked how much weight came off so fast, but then again I have been busting my ass to get it off, and I will continue to do so. I will NEVER weigh as much as I did ever again. I made a promise to myself that I wanted to down to around 230 lbs, and I will. I won't ever do to my body what I have done to it again.

[BINGLEBOP]

I've currently been on a high protein/ low carb diet and have been working on a weight machine and treadmill I have at home. I now weigh 367 lbs. I was shocked how much weight came off so fast, but then again I have been busting my ass to get it off, and I will continue to do so. I will NEVER weigh as much as I did ever again. I made a promise to myself that I wanted to down to around 230 lbs, and I will. I won't ever do to my body what I have done to it again.

The "lesser" Jeff is the "better" Jeff in this situation. It's great that you've been open and self-revealing about this entire thing. Sometimes you just have to admit there's a "problem" before you can begin to work on it. Some people don't like to admit that to themselves, so it's great that you can.

I think having a thread like this to track your progress and receive encouragement is an excellent thing. Anybody else that's struggling with something should consider the same. Even if we've never met each other in real life, we're all struggling with something (or things), and we're all in this together, one way or another.

It's encouraging to read that you're changing your diet and starting a more active lifestyle. You don't have to become a "workout freak" to lose weight. I can't find the chart, but there are several out there that tell you how many calories you burn with the most basic activities. Continue to do simple things, and they'll add up. If you can't workout one day, or you miss it, don't let it get you down. Instead, try standing instead of sitting while you're online; I've read about how the risk for a heart attack increases from sitting at the computer too long (and no, it's not from Pete's posts). I'm not much for sitting anyway, so I'll usually stand and walk around my apartment while I'm online throughout the day, especially if I know I won't get a chance to get out much. Just keep moving; if there's a commercial break, walk up and down the stairs or something. Just keep your body active in the smallest ways as often as possible to start your metabolism again in the right direction.

Anyway, continue to share your goals. Put them in writing or -- since we're online -- on this thread. I've always believed once it's in writing or you tell enough people about it, it keeps you moving forward. Before I ran the marathon last year, I "quit" 9 or 10 times during the course of the year, but since I already told everybody about it and they'd ask me how training was going, I knew I'd eventually do it.

Whatever it takes to feel good about yourself, do it. As silly as it may sound, positive affirmations helped me out. Years ago, when I was depressed and had to rebuild with zero confidence, you don't have anything to "build" with, so you have to encourage yourself sometimes. No matter what any of us say, it's all on you. Still, I know you'll succeed, and I look forward to reading your updates. Thanks for sharing.

[free2131]

It's great that you've been open and self-revealing about this entire thing. Sometimes you just have to admit there's a "problem" before you can begin to work on it. Some people don't like to admit that to themselves, so it's great that you can.

You are absolutely right. For the longest time I denied that I was morbidly obese. "I'm just a little overweight or I can still get out and do things and I'm not bed bound," is what I'd tell myself. One day I looked in the mirror and said, "Hey, you're way obese. You need help before you kill yourself." I'd tried that once and I definitely don't want to try it again. I said I was on a diet, but in truth I've changed the way I eat. This is something I'll be doing for the rest of my life. No more fast food, sugary snacks, and no more deep fried foods. I am sticking with this and I will do it.

You are right in that I made this thread to get help and encouragement. I want to be held accountable for what I say I'm gonna do. I also would like to read what other people are struggling with. Like you said, we all have problems and it makes us stronger, not weaker, when we admit those problems. We can all help each other.

[Kobie]

I thought you were referring to me as the "lesser Jeff."

[haveacigar]

I thought you were gonna use this thread to talk **** about Jeffy.

[FloydtheBarber]

Good luck Free! Whilst my struggles were not quite as extreme, I was at the age of 14 roughly 200 pounds. It was not easy to motivate myself initially to work at losing the weight, but I soon began to enjoy devoting more and more attention to physical activities, and for several years became a vegetarian (which I am no longer). At this present moment I weigh just above 130 pounds (at 5'10"), a weight which I have held since I was 16. It really was not a difficult process, and if it is really something you wish to achieve, I feel you should have few issues. Definitely keep us updated on your progress!

[ragecage]

Good luck to you on that free. I know you can do it.

I think I am to the point where I should do something like that as well because I am a fatass. Out of high school I weighed 210. Now I am in the 400 territory (I think, I was last year during my medical exam). I more or less use beer as something of comfort, I also don't eat good and I don't excersize. I've been thinking about just after working long days and I'm too tired to cook, I will just buy a salad from somewhere. I was doing that and juicing and I lost about 4 inches in two weeks. (I don't know the weight I lost because I don't have a scale.)

My passion to lose weight is the problem I have. It comes and goes, I don't know how to stay motivated.

[haveacigar]

I'm at about 5'8, 215 right now. It doesn't sound like much for a 23 year old, but for someone without much muscle weight, it's pretty bad. When I was 200-205, I said "ok, this is probably the maximum weight I can carry before it really bothers me," and now that I'm 215 I do feel like I am beyond the point of being comfortable with it.

I just don't care enough, is the thing. I feel like I've accepted that I'm gonna be a big guy and that I'm ok with it, but it's dumb; I know there are ways that it affects me that I'm not ok with. Last week at softball, manager wants me to play 3rd, so I get to the field early with my buddy to practice the throws. Now, I know I don't have the arm to play 3rd and that I need to throw as hard as possible just to get it across the diamond. But what struck me was that after throwing for like 10 minutes, I felt gassed. When you're so out of shape that you can't even warm up for softball, it's a big problem.

So much of it is just making the right decision every time. I can make good decisions most of the time; rarely drink pop with sugar, limit to one or two beers max when I'm out, don't max out portions, etc. But I don't do it enough. And I live in a town where the only way to socialize is to eat and drink, which is a killer. Now I'm dating a girl who teaches cooking for a living, so, probably not getting any easier.

The big wake up call was when I went home for Easter and saw my dad. He's around 56, same genetics as me, roughly the same type of frame, went on a diet after weighing in at 270. Now he's at 210, which, is slimmer than I am. He's 56 and he did that. WTF is my problem. I even have full-time access to a gym with my apartment.

[ragecage]

I just don't care enough, is the thing. I feel like I've accepted that I'm gonna be a big guy and that I'm ok with it, but it's dumb; I know there are ways that it affects me that I'm not ok with. Last week at softball, manager wants me to play 3rd, so I get to the field early with my buddy to practice the throws. Now, I know I don't have the arm to play 3rd and that I need to throw as hard as possible just to get it across the diamond. But what struck me was that after throwing for like 10 minutes, I felt gassed. When you're so out of shape that you can't even warm up for softball, it's a big problem.

That's my deal too. I just don't care enough. I'm comfortable with my weight really. Even when I weighed in for my physical and I was at 420 or so, I was like, "Wow, this is pretty bad but meh." Really, the only reason I would want to lose weight is if I was in any danger to not be able to renew my medical card to drive truck. The doctor there was shocked when I tested and am not diabetic, my blood pressure was normal. The only physical thing wrong besides my weight is that I am developing kidney stones. Which that runs in my family anyway. So because of that I don't drink soda but once in a blue moon and stick with water, coffee, and booze of course.

[free2131]

Thanks to everyone for the well wishes. I think the key with me is that I just wasn't happy with my weight. I used to be able to go play baseball at the park with a few friends, play basketball, and football. Now I cant do those things, and it affects more than just my health. I've lost touch with just about all of the people I used to hang out with because I never felt like going out and doing anything. For me, it's more than just about health, it's about being happy. If you are happy and in reasonably good health, then good for you. I just know I'm not happy with my physical self, and I'm changing that.

As for yesterday, I decided to have an omelet because my eggs are gonna expire tomorrow and I only had used 2 so far. I used 4 eggs (only a total of 2 net carbs) and cut up some red onion, green pepper, cheddar cheese, and turkey. I only added salt and pepper to it, and it came out really well. One of the better things I've ever made (I can't cook worth a ****). I really didn't want to work out at all, because I had to mow my yard yesterday and some of it was too wet for a riding mower so I had to use a push mower. I can't think of a better workout than pulling a push mower behind you in the mud. I pushed myself though, and with the help of Mudvayne, Slipknot, SOAD, and Nickleback (not really, just making sure you're still paying attention :P) I got it all in. I ran for 10 minutes to start out, and then two rounds of three sets of ten on all the exercises i can do on my machine.

Something that may not seem like a big deal, but after my weight work, I always run for another 5 minutes to "cool down", but I was so tired yesterday that I wanted to just shower and go to bed. I didn't though and I pushed myself to do it. Running for one minute felt like an hour to me, and my legs and my body begged me to quit, but I didn't. I told myself I was going to do it, and I did. I can't tell you how proud of myself I was. It felt like I had just ran a marathon. I don't care that it was only 5 minutes and that people run 10 times what I do everyday. I was so happy that I pushed myself to finish.

I think starting off today I'm gonna cook some of my "crustless" pizza, which is basically just a mix of veggies, cheese, turkey pepperoni, and pizza sauce baked in the oven in a tinfoil pan. It's good though, and curbs my cravings for pizza.

[Alloutwar]

Read the blog posts, good stuff. Glad you are sticking with your plans, and having the heart to plot it all out on bloggity-blog, and here, means you are serious.

I've had my own weight issues, and honestly it's good to see/read others' stories. About a month ago I stepped on the scale and saw a number that scared me: 218. I had been kind of pudgy - 5' 11" or so, very little arm/chest muscle...I knew 170 was probably healthy for me, but my floor is 180, and orbited from 180 to 210 over the years (losing weight when sick, or after wisdom teeth came out....gaining it with work stress, wedding, vacations). I've gotten some doctor visits where - though my numbers are good - they make it clear I could lose 20 or 30. But this...218...I started getting concerned about my health. I'm 31, been married a year...I can still kind of hide my gut, but it's gotten to the point where I can't wear some shirts/pants anymore. When you pick up size 38 shorts, and find they don't fit...wow, that was sad for me.

I'm trying to get motivated with the wife (she's ashamed of her huge 135 lb mark), but with so much going on all the time it's a challenge. And curling up on the couch watching tv is sooooo nice. Food is tough to cut down on though - mainly all the dining out, groupons and living social and coupons and bed n breakfasts. And my chocolate fetish...it takes a ton of willpower not to go grab the bag of cadbury eggs downstairs right now. Between Gilad episodes, Billy Blanks DVDs, pilates DVDs, the Wii fit, and frisbee with the dog, I have plenty of avenues to exercise...I just need to allot the 30-60 minutes a day and get back into a less rotund form.

Best of luck man, let me know if I can help.

[free2131]

Thanks AOW, I appreciate it. I've thinking, and I do believe that I'm not only helping my weight loss goal with this, but also learning to open myself up to others. There was a chance in my mind that this would have been trashed and I would have been ridiculed. By putting myself "out there" so to speak, I think it should help me be willing to put more of myself out there in "real life".

Come to think of it, you could help AOW. Since you are in the medical profession, you can hook me up with a good surgeon to help fix up my excess skin when I lose my weight!

[Alloutwar]

no updates since 4/30. cmon mcgee, get on that stairmaster.

I didnt even go for a walk last night - dinner at Fridays, then plopped on the couch for 3 hours. To be fair the dog (85 lbs) ran into my knee at full tilt, so any walking/jogging hurts a ton right now.

[BINGLEBOP]

That's how it starts... with all the excuses. You should put your dog on JefFree's Stairmaster... 85 pounds?

It's difficult to work out with much enthusiasm, let alone consistency, when you don't really want to (or have to). Seems like most people on this thread are in one of those two boats. Some of you are "overweight" or out of shape but are OK with that, and that's fine. There's not much that can be done to inspire you to get with it, and I wouldn't push somebody who doesn't want to.

I guess I completely changed my attitude from years ago. During the Depression Years, I didn't do much to help myself get out of it. Up to that point, I'd always be neglecting one part of myself. If I had a positive mindset and I was eating healthy, I wasn't work out. Or I'd start working out and stop eating healthy. Well, "healthy-ish". That was one of the big obstacles at first, when I was "training" for the marathon. I remember telling my friend that I knew I'd fail and quit, because I will never be a "health freak" when it came to training. I wasn't going to eat healthy all the time and workout consistently. I just falsely assumed that's what every marathon runner did. I always had that "all or nothing" attitude... still do with many things, which drives some people around me crazy. Then I learned that I could still eat what I want, drink beer, and not have to change anything. I wasn't running it to win or set a record time; I just wanted to finish. Nobody "runs" a marathon... you FINISH a marathon. Thinking of "running" 26.2 miles is exhausting, but nobody runs the entire time. It started when I stopped saying it that way.

Anyway, once I finished it last year, I was already looking forward to next (this) year and improving upon it now. I still would like to eat healthier just so I can fire on all cylinders. I'm more active (going for a walk every day at the very least, which is the most relaxing part of my chaotic days) and have the most positive frame of mind I've had in many, many years (partially the result of successes in life), but I still haven't placed that priority on what I eat. Then again, if I stop looking at it with the "all or nothing" attitude, I have improved.

I still love junk food like pizza, burgers, beer and energy drinks (although I still don't believe energy drinks are "unhealthy"), but in-between that, I'll eat healthier, more complete food options which I like, as well as drinking new, healthier drinks (like those fruit smoothies). Stop trying to change everything and be complete healthy in your habits, like diet. Try to be healthier. If you like junk food, choose the one with less calories or whatever. The mind is a powerful weapon as well; I feel good and completely happy when I'm drinking a Full Throttle. That doesn't magically change its contents, but I've always believed that a person who is happy with what they eat and doesn't stress about it will be healthier in the long run over somebody that eats healthy and obsesses over every calorie and gets stressed out if they "ruin their diet" by having one slice of pizza or something. I'll never have a consistent diet just because I don't have a consistent lifestyle. There are not two consecutive days where my sleep schedule is the same... it varies all the time. Up all night... two small naps... doze when I'm fatigued, etc. I know that contributes to it, so I'll never be completely "normal".

To everybody that doesn't want to work out or lose weight or eat healthier now, I would just say to consider to yourselves how much worse it will be as you get down the line... not only for yourselves, but for your family (parents, spouse/significant other, children, etc.). I was one of those kids with a crazy-high metabolism; I couldn't gain weight if I wanted to. Then, as you approach your late-20s and early-30s, it begins to slow down. I've noticed that, but I've mainly just filled out my frame and have never been "overweight'. I've fluctuated between 195-220 pounds over the last year or two. When I ran the marathon last year, I lost almost 20 pounds in the span of a day. The night before I ran, I weighed in at 219. The next morning after I ran it (which included going out for burgers and beer), I was at 200 exactly. Part of it was probably not drinking enough fluids (even though I had a lot of water) and evaporation or something, but I thought that was crazy. The last time I checked -- about a week ago -- I was at 210. At 6'4", that's in my range. I have zero desire or concern about weight; I check once a month, if that; it's more about feeling good. Part of that is physical (eating and maintaining an active lifestyle) and has to do with your weight, but the other part is not.

Just know that it doesn't get any easier (or better) as you're older. Maybe you're OK with the extra weight now, but it'll lead to decreased energy as you get older. It took me awhile to realize that's what was starting to happen with me, and one of the reasons why it took so long to recover and rebuild after depression. I just remember my father losing that desire to be active as I grew up. I could see the differences as we both got older. I remember when we stopped playing catch or him hitting the ball around to my friends and me. As the years went on, the energy and desire faded as well (to do anything active), and I see how it's impacted him later in life, especially when it comes to heart problems. You don't have energy to do anything.

I'm like a 20-year-old in my 30-year-old body sometimes... I love going out, having fun, going to concerts, and 716 other things. I always will and can't imagine not wanting to. I don't want to think about NOT having the energy to do that anymore. I just don't want to lose that "fun", so... I've become more active in the smallest ways. I have a couple major races I'll do every year now (barring injury), which are fun and really push myself to the max, but it won't be like that every day, and it doesn't have to be.

Like I mentioned to Free, if you can't work out or something, do small things like standing instead of sitting, or walking around your house/apartment building during commercial breaks, etc. You don't have to stop watching TV or even go to the gym. Just MOVE AROUND. It matters, and it's better than nothing. Your body has to learn to enjoy movement before you can subject it to working out in the gym, running the treadmill, doing a 5K or whatever else. Just starting to run one day is nice, but if your body doesn't respond accordingly, you'll stop, end up discouraged that you "quit" (when it was the physical aspect that needed to be built up), and go back to your old ways. The "old me" (when I was younger) would have thought "marathon or bust" with my frame of mind, like nothing in-between that would make any difference, but the person I am now knows that's not the case.

We're all around similar points in our lives, if not by age, then responsibilities for the most part. College, career, relationships, whatever. So for those who just don't have the desire to work out or don't want to, I'd say to just try to imagine your life in another five or ten years if you don't... just anything to spark minor change. It's just like investing with money. If you start at 25 instead of 35, that's going to make a HUGE difference as you get older. Think about that "interest" in the same way when it comes to your body and your health. It won't only affect you (in energy and potential health problems, which means more money spent), but those around you as well. Regardless of how you want to spend the rest of your life, it's harder to begin to change the older you get. Just start small.

[Alloutwar]

Hey man its a big dog. Skinny. Its like a greyhound/beagle mix, but bigger. Here:

The dog is not overweight.

Also, for the record, I did everything right investing-wise, getting into the IRA and 401k at 22/23, and even the Roth stuff later on. But our lovely economic collapse just about undid all the gains, so I might as well have stuck it under the mattress or invested in baseball cards.

I don't think that way at all - regarding depression, all or nothing attitudes, etc. I'm a very easygoing sort - so if I work out for 3 hours one weekend, and then have one night of killing aliens on the laptop resting my knee, thats not an indicator of failure. I won't quit or stop. 218 is waaay too scary.

also for the record - energy drinks are terrible. Probably bad for you, but definitely terrible.